bravejemma | IC Inbox

Or maybe I did.

[It would have taken less to make him capitulate, and they both know it. She would do just about anything to keep him from death again, and she can't imagine things had changed that much.]

At any rate, that's not consent. It's extortion.

So what do we do to make sure it doesn't come to pass?

Get home. Get everyone home, to their timelines.

[It's not a GREAT plan, but it's what she has.]

If there's nobody here, that future doesn't exist.

We don't even know when it is. It could be tomorrow, and we're nowhere close to being ready.

Or it may be ten years from now. [You know, metaphorically speaking, since while time passes here it seems to be otherwise irrelevant.]

I suppose we work harder, then.

I won't let you stay trapped here that long. I promise you that.

[ he'll sell every piece of himself to the merchants if it means that it'll earn her freedom somehow. ]

[The worst part is that she knows he means it. He's let her take air out of his lungs to save herself, what else could he possibly give? In a place like this, it's really better not to ask.

And she doesn't care if it's going to be awkward, if he's going to stand there obligingly while she hugs him, or if he reciprocates. She does it, arms fitting around him and holding on good and tight.]

Just don't let me stay stuck without you.

[She's been stuck without him. She could hardly bear it.]

[He hooks his head over her shoulder, offering comfort as she seeks it. It's not for him. He knows that. She's just using Fitz to supplement for Will. It's better to be with friends than alone.

He's aware of a flush of something internal, a need to retreat to Klaus. He'll have to stop by during tea tomorrow.]

It'll be fine. I get four more.

[Such a silly pair they are.

She exhales heavily, not really a laugh, not really a show of exasperation.]

Even one more will be too many.

It'll be better.

[He closes his eyes, taking in the scent of her shampoo.]

We have more reliable acquaintances now.

[This time she does sigh. She can't really blame him, considering, but he does have a tendency to stick people up on pedestals and it makes it all the worse when they fail.

(And to be honest, she's not sure Klaus is more reliable.)]

Not everything about that world was awful.

[She admits it in a small voice; so small he could ignore it if he chose.]

[He can't ignore it when she's this close. It makes his muscles grow stiff. She's lying to herself now? Is that what this is?]

They took away the man you love. You hadn't known how awful it was.

[And she knows he means Will. She knows, and it feels like the biggest lie she's never told.]

No, Fitz, they didn't. That's what made it a temptation.

[He smiles sadly.]

Jemma, you shouldn't say things that aren't true just to spare my feelings.

You think I would have looked twice if I hadn't thought my last chance of coming home had missed the portal and smashed on the rocks? If I'd had you with me?

[Was he never going to understand he wasn't second place?]

[He studies her carefully then. This isn't a prank? There's not another event??]

...He'll be disoriented enough when we bring him back. You'll be the only one he knows.

[It wouldn't be the right thing to do, no matter how much he'd prefer to be kissing her right now.]

You aren't listening.

[Then, maybe it wasn't the listening. It was the believing. He kept himself from believing her, to protect himself -- and again, how can she blame him.]

He knows me well enough to know he was what I had. Not what I wanted.

[Klaus had wanted Fitz to talk things out with Jemma. He'd known it would be like this. He'd warned that prolonging things would just make it more complicated and hurtful.]

Jemma, I...

[There are words that come next, but he can't will them to happen. He trails off instead, pulling away just far enough to study every bit of her beautiful face.]

[It was always going to be a painful and complicated -- tearing your heart out and showing someone else what was inside it always is, especially when they already knew it as intimately as Fitz knew hers.

She's lived in moments like this, where it's just him and her and it always ends. This one stretches on into infinity, and it isn't passing. This is terrifying but it's familiar.]

Fitz...

["I'm scared too. Don't judge me wrongly. Don't leave me."]

Edited 2017-01-22 21:02 (UTC)

[He shouldn't. He shouldn't complicate things further. He should be still, and let her speak, and be sensitive to her choices.

But now he's kissing her and he doesn't know when it started but he's pressing her against the desk now and paperwork is shifting out of sequence.

This isn't the way this ought to go. But he's too weak to do it any other way.]

[How ironic -- if he were that sensitive, he would realize he was the choice.

She'd let the other world's Fitz kiss her, and let herself kiss him back -- not without guilt, but this was not that. He was himself, and this was real.

OH GOD NOT THE PAPERWORK--

Just kidding, Jemma could give a shit about the papers that are currently being shoved to the side. She wants him and she's done using words to get her message across.]

[It's a release in a lot of ways. Jemma's mouth is pressed against his mouth, and everything that's kept them apart is removed for just a small, blissful moment.

And then his next breath comes, and he's releasing her, eyes wide. Has he forced himself upon her?

He should apologize, but all he manages are a smattering of unrelated syllables.]

[She doesn't let go even as he's pulling away, and it feels like the floor has bottomed out from under her, and she is falling and he is watching her slip into a void.]

Stop running away from me!

[It slips out before she stops it, but that's exactly what it feels like. She knows he never would, she will be tripping over Fitz until the day she dies regardless of who else might come into their lives, but if he were to do so she can't imagine feeling any worse.]

[She's upset. She's upset and it's because he's upset her. He pulls her close again, and one hand cups her cheek in a tender caress.]

Jemma, please calm down...

[Is she upset about Will? Is she just afraid she'll be alone again?]

[It's like she's being burned. Is this what it feels like to be killed with kindness? She closes her eyes and lays her forehead against his.]

What is it going to take for you to get it?

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